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Inspect the Plans at Your Convenience

May 6, 2014

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The general plan and artist’s impressions are now on display in Kirkgate Market — in the toilets!

You couldn’t make it up, unless you were the writer of The Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

“But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months.”

“Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.”

“But the plans were on display …”

“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”

“That’s the display department.”

“With a flashlight.”

“Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”

“So had the stairs.”

“But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”

“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard’.”

Don’t panic, indeed. Unless you are one of the increasingly marginalised market traders.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Paul permalink
    May 6, 2014 10:40 pm

    Where are the toilets in the market? Sorry for ignorance – I’ve never been caught short there.

    • May 7, 2014 6:17 pm

      Turn right off Butchers Row and follow your nose. (The toilets don’t stink but the Council chicanery does.)

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